the importance of rest + unwinding

lauren sims pink ruffle romper

So today I want to talk about the importance of rest and unwinding. But, before I get there, I have a little backstory to tell you! [I didn’t ask permission from Michael to tell this story LOL. So if you’re reading this babe…i love you :)]. ANYWAY. For those of you who don’t know Michael, he is an extremely hard worker. He’s very disciplined, loves to-do lists, and serves me and all of his friends SO well. When Michael is unwinding or not being productive, he occasionally likes to play video games. (It’s nothing crazy excessive by any means – just kind of what he does if he’s done with his to-do list, like waiting for me to finish getting ready to go to dinner lol).lauren sims pink ruffle romperDespite how hard he works though and the fact that he really doesn’t play video games that much…for whatever reason, this is something that’s bugged me since we’ve been married. I get annoyed when he plays video games – even if he’s not neglecting any other responsibilities. Recently when I felt annoyed at this (and knew I shouldn’t be annoyed), I texted my mom and sister (like any normal girl lol) and explained the situation. I asked them ‘can someone please explain to me why this bothers me? there’s literally nothing else he should be doing and yet I feel annoyed’.lauren sims pink ruffle romperMy sister Jill responded and said ‘why would that bother you? that’s just what he does to unwind. i binge watch netflix, and it would be so much less enjoyable if Caleb (her husband) made me feel guilty about it’. And then she asked me ‘does he give you a hard time for what you do to unwind?’ And I responded ‘I guess because what I do to unwind seems so much more productive!’ Jill said ‘lauren that’s the whole point of unwinding! you’re not supposed to be productive!’. And it hit me…lauren sims pink ruffle romperI thought and thought and thought of what I do to ‘unwind’ or relax…and literally couldn’t think of anything. Obviously I like to run and workout but I don’t really think that counts as relaxing. Every second of my day has to be productive in SOME form or fashion – whether that’s working, cleaning, working out, working more lol…because that’s how my brain is wired. As much as I LOVE that blogging is my full time job, being a business owner means no one tells you when to stop. So, I don’t.lauren sims pink ruffle romperEven when we’re on vacation laying at the beach…I’m answering e-mails, editing photos, researching stuff on SEO, etc. On a Saturday when Michael is having his ‘unwinding time’, I get annoyed because I feel like we need to be doing something productive. I’ll find something to clean or use it as a chance to get caught up on emails, etc. I don’t say all of this to make you think ‘wow, Lauren is such a hard worker,’ but to explain how off balance things have gotten.

After that texting conversation with my mom and Jill…my mom challenged me to have at least one day a week where I’m not working – not responding to messages or linking new outfits or anything. That was about 3 weeks ago and let me tell y’all, it has been extremely hard for me to create space for rest. But, seeing how hard it was for me to do this made me realize even more how important it is.lauren sims pink ruffle romperSo, I’m writing this post right in the middle of this struggle, and definitely have not mastered it. But, I’m writing to y’all because I have become so aware of how important it is to take time to turn off, to unwind, and to truly rest. Our bodies and minds were not made to go go go 24/7. We will get burnt out from work, we will have trouble sleeping, our relationships will suffer, we won’t be happy, and we won’t have peace.

SO. What does ‘unwinding’ or rest really look like? I think it looks different for each person, and there’s no right or wrong answer! (Unless your answer is choosing to keep being productive lol!). It’s anything that helps calm your mind down, or even shut it off! For me, when I’m choosing to unwind…I will read a book and have hot tea, (i always have the hardest time reading fiction books unless I’m on an airplane sans wifi because I feel like it’s ‘not productive’, but I’m trying to change that!), or take beau for a walk around the neighborhood without my phone. Something else I’ve learned relaxes me is taking a bath and reading Women’s Health Magazine (seriously obsessed with this magazine!). Or opening a bottle of wine and cooking dinner with Michael.lauren sims pink ruffle romperOutfit details: pink ruffle romper (print also comes in top and dress version) | similar straw clutch | sandals | bangle bracelets | earrings | rose gold rings | sunglasses

So, maybe you’re reading this and thinking ‘she’s crazy, resting is NOT a problem for me.’ But, if this is a struggle you also have…you have to change your mindset about ‘unwinding’. Something I’m learning is that unwinding or relaxing is not being lazy. Choosing to unwind or relax is choosing to allow your body and your mind to rest, recharge, and recover…so that you can be the best wife, co-worker, daughter, sister, friend, you can be!

I’d LOVE to hear about some things you guys do to unwind! I need all the help I can get haha. Thanks for reading!

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12 Comments

12 Comments on the importance of rest + unwinding

  1. Chanel
    June 12, 2017 at 9:35 am (2 weeks ago)

    This post was like my heart taking a breath! I don’t think I could have written that more perfectly than you did, I am 100% the same way, as is my husband! I don’t know what it is but the second he picks up the Xbox controller I cringe and feel upset. My husband plays a bit more than Michael but still in moderation. Reading this made me realize that my relaxing time is sitting down and writing out my grocery list (still doing something)! If I REALLY thought about it I’d have to say my most relaxing time of the day is at the end of the night once I’ve gotten home from work, did the laundry, made dinner, cleaned, etc. I sit down and have a cup of ice cream. It’s what I look forward to all day long and it’s my 5 minutes of enjoyable ‘me’ time.

    Thanks for posting this it made me feel like I wasn’t the only one with these feelings!!

    Reply
  2. Jackie
    June 12, 2017 at 9:51 am (2 weeks ago)

    Girl, I totally relate. My husband and I both work really demanding 8-5 jobs that often reach beyond 8-5…especially for him. For us, travel is the key to unwinding. So when I was reading your post, I thought “Wow, she’s even having to work when she travels!” And even when you love what you do, it’s still tough. I cherish that time away to just sort of reconnect with myself and him too. And it usually takes at least 3 days to even be ABLE to get in that mental place to relax and put the phones down when we travel. One of my friends just started meditating using a guided app. I love that b/c if someone just tells me to sit still for 10 min, I’m probably planning my to-do list for the day…haha! Not exactly relaxing. Anyway, it’s called InsightTimer and I have no idea if it’s good or not but I plan to download and give it a shot so thought I’d share.:) My friend LOVES it and she’s a busy working mom with three kids!

    Reply
  3. Anna White
    June 12, 2017 at 10:09 am (2 weeks ago)

    I can totally relate to this post. First of all, I get annoyed when my husband plays video games too! We actually had an argument about this yesterday!! I felt like he should be doing SOMETHING. But after talking to him, he said he just wanted an hour or so on Sunday afternoon to relax. It’s hard for me too – because even when I’m watching T.V., I am on my computer or phone usually. I want to be better at relaxing too! I have tried sitting on the porch on pretty days to read a book or read my Bible. I also like unwinding with a bath! So far, those things have really helped! Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. XO –

    Anna | http://www.parkavenueblogger.com

    Reply
  4. Melissa
    June 12, 2017 at 11:26 am (2 weeks ago)

    This post was really great! I agree, I have trouble relaxing and unwinding as well. It’s especially true when you are your own boss. Thanks for the reminder to sit down and unwind once in a while! It truly is so important!

    Reply
  5. Hannah
    June 12, 2017 at 8:13 pm (2 weeks ago)

    Hi Lauren! Some favorites ways I mellow down is by going outside, placing out a yoga mat, and simple just sit/lye down and enjoy my surroundings. I do this in the forest, beach, my lawn, etc. It’s peaceful to sit and do NOTHING. Because I’m always doing something–this takes me out of the norm. Sometimes I’ll bring my phone(I know, a phone, okay, okay….) BUT I love to turn on some worship music and enjoy that too. Another way I love to relax is to make my own diy spa day! I paint my nails, throw some bath salts and essential oils in a small tub and soak my feet, and do a hair and face mask. Another way I love to relax is to read and journal…. the two books I’m reading right now are “Relationships” by Timothy S. Lan and Paul David Tripp and “Anything” by Jennie Allen. Annnd last thing haha! One thing I like to do is carve out the time to relax… even if it’s 15 minutes. I’ll write it on my calendar a couple days ahead of time. Even if I feel swamped with the stress of work, family, college, friends… I carve out that time and commit to it. It makes such a huge difference! xo

    Reply
    • laurenkaysims
      June 15, 2017 at 10:34 am (1 week ago)

      hi hannah! i love these ideas! thank you so much for sharing. and definitely going to check out those book recommendations – some of my favorite authors!

      Reply
  6. Torey Beerman
    June 13, 2017 at 2:22 pm (2 weeks ago)

    OMG I”m the exact same way- I always have to be doing something…cleaning, working out, blogging, teaching, walking on the beach, planning content, editing, etc. I always feel like there’s SOMETHING I can be doing! I think you hit home when you said it’s important to take time to unwind (whatever that looks like for you)…1 hour or 1 day it’s so crucial and I need to follow your advice! Thanks for sharing Lauren 🙂

    toreystreasures.com
    @toreystreasures

    Reply
  7. Heidi Baumbach
    June 13, 2017 at 2:26 pm (2 weeks ago)

    Oh my goodness!! This is EXACTLY the struggle my boyfriend (unbeknownst to him) and I have been having for months!! I run my own studio, so I’m constantly “on the clock” or else tending to a never-endin list of household responsibilities, so any time he’s just sitting there on YouTube or something and I’m, say, doing the dishes or cooking breakfast, I find myself getting super catty and resentful. But yeah, I agree with you, I’m sure this stems from lack of rest on my end. And I’ve found that if I plan in “rest” (say, time to take a bath, go on a walk, read a book), it feels more like a mandate and one more thing on my to do list–LESS than relaxing. Going to experiment maybe with the idea of “unstructured time”–setting a block of time in my calendar with nothing at all planned, and then trusting my body and soul to tell me what it needs! So so SO glad I’m not alone in this!!

    Reply
    • laurenkaysims
      June 15, 2017 at 10:33 am (1 week ago)

      yessss totally! you are definitely not alone! thanks so much for reading and for your feedback!

      Reply
  8. Sally
    June 14, 2017 at 4:47 am (2 weeks ago)

    This is amazing, Lauren! I’ve been loving your real and vulnerable posts! For me, resting looks like sleeping in or cuddling up with a good book! I can totally relate how blogging can take over and (kind of) control your life, in the best way possible! Thanks for sharing!!

    Sweetly, Sally // http://www.sweetlysally.com

    Reply
    • laurenkaysims
      June 15, 2017 at 10:31 am (1 week ago)

      aw thanks so much for your feedback and for those ideas for resting! love! <3

      Reply

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Lauren Kay Sims