choosing security despite imperfections
Some of you may or may not have seen my instagram stories a week or so ago – about receiving an influx of hateful DM’s or comments from internet trolls, as I like to call them. As a blogger, I realize that I am putting myself out there on the world wide web which opens me up to people’s criticisms. I tell so many girls who are thinking about blogging: “you’ve gotta have thick skin”, or at least work to get there. Over the last 3 1/2 years of blogging, I think I’ve developed pretty thick skin. I remember the first comments i got from people saying “you look way too skinny,” or “we don’t want to promote anorexia to our daughters”…I just cried and cried over mean things like that people would say. I’ve come a long way since then and, for the most part, learned to brush off these stupid comments from cowards hiding behind their computer screens. BUT, over the last month I have had an influx of negative and hateful comments or DM’s and it started getting to me again.
Most of the negativity was coming from internet trolls. But, it all started with something a brand actually said to me. I had a partnership with a brand, where I shot several photos in their clothing, and then sent them the photos for their use. They were not happy with the photos because they said they were having to go back through them and “airbrush imperfections out of the photos”. She literally told me “we are having to remove scars and bruises on your legs and other imperfections on your face. This should have already been done.”
I was pretty livid reading her e-mail to me. I explained to her that if she ever looks at my blog photos, she can easily see I do not airbrush anything (nor do i even know how to!). As you can see in these photos, I have scars on my knees from falling in a 10K in the mountains. I have other scars from falling during marathon training. I’ll be the first to tell you: my body is full of imperfections, and I will never edit those things out of photos.
Most of the hateful comments or messages people sent my way (I won’t go into detail because we don’t need to give trolls any attention whatsoever), were all related to my appearance. My nose is huge or my eyebrows are uneven or I’m too skinny…the list goes on. And you know what my response to a lot of those comments are? Yes. You’re probably right. Maybe my nose is big (which I never really thought that until all these haters pointed it out lol), or maybe my eyebrows are weird. But guess what…I am not a perfect flawless human being, and I don’t claim to be. I try to workout and be healthy to take care of my body as best as I can…but that doesn’t mean that I have zero flaws. And, correct me if I’m wrong, but I haven’t met a woman who is without flaw.
I don’t tell you these stories to receive your pity or your affirmations. I tell you these stories because I’m not naive to how hateful and mean people can be – whether you’re a blogger or not. Words hurt. But, a way I’ve learned to brush off these mean comments is to embrace the fact that I’m not perfect, and I’m not trying to be! So if people criticize how I look or how I talk or whatever it might be (first of all I usually block them lol), but I’m able to just say “yeah. they’re probably right, but i’m doin my best over here!” And, as cheesy as this sounds…I’m able to embrace “well, this is the nose (or body type or whatever) God gave me, and I’m thankful for it!”
When you feel like you have to be perfect or maintain an image of flawlessness, these negative comments can really bring you down, because you feel like you’re failing at being perfect. But, when you embrace the truth that we are not perfect, nor were we created to be and you are fearfully and wonderfully made (no matter your weight or your hair or the size of your nose or marks on your legs), then brushing off those comments becomes a whole lot easier.
So, I just want to encourage you guys with that today. Let go of the standard of perfection you have for yourself. Embrace the truth that you are fearfully and wonderfully made – every party of you, even your flaws. Let yourself find freedom in the truth that no one is without flaw, and you never have to expect that from yourself!
And if you’re one of the trolls who has told me I should consider plastic surgery…I’m pretty content with the nose God gave me. It’s been working just fine for me for the past 27 years!
Cheers to being flawed and imperfect women, but who are deeply loved and secure in our true identities which lies in something far deeper than what we look like.