So our Shiloh girl turned 2 months old yesterday! I’m 100% sure I will say this every month but time is just flying by. It literally feels like 10 minutes ago when we were in the hospital with her! You guys responded so well to my previous post partum blog post, so I thought it would be fun to share another update with you now that we’re 2 months out! Today I’ll share a little update on how Shiloh’s doing, things I’ve learned so far as a new mom, and how post partum recovery is going for me.
Shiloh is doing amazing and just getting bigger and more expressive everyday! She is still just a healthy happy baby and I am so thankful for that. We are starting to get into a little more of a routine. If you follow me on stories you know we are doing Moms on Call, pretty religiously! If you aren’t familiar with Moms on Call you can click that link to learn more about the book and their program. It’s nothing crazy complicated – just kind of gives you structure and ideas on how to get your baby on a schedule / in a routine, and sleeping through the night! It’s been a lot of work to try and keep things really consistent for Shiloh – eating, napping, playing, bathtime, bedtime… everything at the same time everyday. But I will say it’s working. Shiloh made it a NINE HOUR stretch last night between feedings! Her last feeding before bed is at 7pm and she didn’t wake up again until a 4am feeding! I was blown away. This definitely does not happen every night but she has made tremendous progress since we started following Moms on Call.
I am learning though that just because something works wonders for one baby does not mean it works for all babies! So Moms on Call is currently working for us, but that doesn’t mean it’s for everyone!
I’ve gotten a lot of questions about pumping / our routine, etc. So, again, every baby and every mom is totally different. This is kind of just the routine we are in right now and what’s working for us. First of all, I have the Willow pump and I am OBSESSED! It’s a wearable breast pump that you literally put in your bra and you can pump while you’re up and about and moving. I have both the Willow and a hospital grade pu mp (the medela), and 100% prefer the Willow to the Medela. Disclaimer: there was a HUGE learning curve with the Willow. It took me a while to figure out how to make it work and how to make it work effectively. BUT they have amazing customer service and someone literally coached me through it on the phone! So that’s a huge perk of using Willow. Once I figured it out, I started pumping just as much with the Willow that I do with the Medela! But it’s so much more enjoyable haha.
So, since I don’t have to “go back to work” and leave Shiloh, I’m not pumping to store up a ton of milk. I pump right now to help keep my supply up, and also to have a little bit stored up if Michael and I want to go on a date or if I need to be out for a few hours, so someone can give her a bottle. I currently pump probably 2-3 times a day and I typically pump right after I nurse Shiloh.
I saw a lactation consultant a while back because I was worried I wasn’t producing enough for Shiloh. After meeting with them for a few hours, feeding Shiloh etc, they told me that I’m a “just enough-er”, meaning, I am producing just enough for what my baby needs. I’m not one of those people that will have months work of milk in the freezer, I don’t leak milk everywhere, and my boobs are never really killing me. But, I found a lot of peace in knowing my body was producing just enough! Because of that though, I’ve wanted to be conscious about keeping my supply up, which is why I pump. I also take a few supplements that I’m obsessed with. I LOVE legendairy milk supplements, and also eat two of these lactation cookies everyday! I’ve noticed a huge increase in my supply thanks to both of these things. I also notice a better supply when I’m really great about drinking a TON of water throughout the day. I have a 32oz hydroflask and try to drink at least 4 of them a day.
So overall, baby girl is doing so good and my obsession with her just grows daily! #sorrynotsorry for the baby overload posts on instagram haha. She’s just the best.
Even though I’ve only been a mom now for 2 months (well…11 months if you include pregnancy!) it has already taught me so many things about myself, and revealed certain qualities about me I had no idea were in there. A lot of this has been amazing to see, ie: how many things I’ve figured out how to do with one hand lol or the fact that I can breastfeed and keep a tiny human alive with milk that my body is producing, or that I can semi function and get stuff done on so little sleep. Really, God made moms to be super heros I think! So some of that has been really excited / empowering to experience. Other things that motherhood has brought out of me…not so much haha.
I am not, nor have I ever been a paranoid person, but that all changed the second that pregnancy test said positive. I was pretty paranoid throughout my pregnancy and am definitely paranoid now with Shiloh. But, not necessarily in normal ways like “is she breathing?”. It’s more so I am paranoid about what she’s doing at all moments, and if I’m not with her, I’m worried about what / how she’s doing. I know, it sounds crazy. Motherhood has also made me realize how much of a control freak I can be. Literally not in any other area in life except with Shiloh! Both of these things have definitely surprised me, and honestly made me conscious about praying through my paranoia and tendency to want to control…because let’s be real, those aren’t great qualities haha.
A lesson I’ve really been learning within these past few weeks has been about expectations. One night a few weeks ago, Shiloh slept so well. She made it from her 7pm feeding all the way until 3am, and then didn’t wake up again until 7. I woke up the next day feeling so proud of her and so proud of myself and like “we can do this! we are finding normalcy!”. The next night, Shiloh started waking up around 1030pm and was pretty much up all night long. The next day, I broke down and started crying, partially because I was so sleep deprived, but also because I just felt so defeated. I felt like I must’ve done something wrong and that’s why she didn’t sleep. She should make an 8hr stretch now so why didn’t she?! I was so confused and frustrated.
Since then…I have been learning the importance of letting go of my expectations. I let go of my expectations every night for her to make it an 8hr stretch. I let go of expectations that say she should be doing this or should respond in this way. Because, if she doesn’t meet those expectations, I find myself getting so frustrated (mostly with myself) and feeling defeated. And that’s not fair to Shiloh or to myself.
I’ve obviously never been a mom before, and I’m learning to just take things a day at a time, laying my expectations on the floor and learning to just love my baby for exactly who she is and how she is in this moment. If she makes it an 8 or 9 hour stretch at night…GREAT! If she doesn’t, we will get through it and that’s okay! It doesn’t mean I’ve failed or she’s failed…it just means it’s kinda a rough night and we’ll need to nap the next day haha.
This might all sound like total rambling nonsense to you if this isn’t a struggle you’ve experienced. But, I think this “expectation” struggle can translate into so many different areas in life. Expectations you put on your spouse, expectations you put on yourself to achieve certain things, expectations you put on your friends to do things for you, etc. God has really used motherhood already to teach me how to lay these expectations down at his feet, and learn to just embrace each day, each hour as it comes.
Okay, wowza, this was a long post haha. But I’ve honestly been learning SO much already both about Shiloh and motherhood and myself these past few weeks that I really wanted to share with you guys. I honestly feel like I could’ve written 100 more pages about things I’ve been learning (I didn’t even get to the marriage part or my physical body/recovery etc!) but…I’ll try not to bore you haha! If you made it to the end of this post, thank you for reading!! Let me know if y’all would like to keep seeing more posts like this or if there are any questions I can answer for you!