Hello beauties! I am so excited to get to introduce myself to y’all and discuss a topic that is very near and dear to me. But first I want to say thank you to Lauren for allowing me to share this with you and for being a constant light and encouragement in my life. For those of you who haven’t met her in person, she is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside and I am beyond thankful for our friendship. When we discuss topics like this, it is always helpful to have a friend who will speak truth into your life and remind you of what is truly important.
Ok so my name is Kami and I started The Kalon Life because I passionately wanted to encourage women to love themselves and believe in a beauty that is more than skin deep. I wanted to challenge them to live beautiful, happy, and healthy lives on their own terms – however they define that to be.
That is why when Lauren asked me to discuss body image I was excited and nervous! I mean body image is a tricky topic because it goes hand in hand with identity for so many people.
What I look like is what I am worth.
That is so backwards to me! And I am not saying I don’t struggle here as well but I work hard to love and accept my body apart from what anyone else thinks or what society has told me I should look like.
And guess what…there is SO MUCH freedom in that! There is freedom in working out because you love the sweat, enjoying the pizza because it’s the bomb and buying a dress that makes you feel amazing whether its on trend or not. There is FREEDOM in that. Freedom in making your own rules, owning your own beauty and being proud of your own body.
There are two definitions that I want to share with you:
Body image is defined as the ‘subjective picture or mental image of one’s own body’.
Subjective is defined as ‘based on or influenced by personal feelings, tastes or opinions’.
So many of our ideas about what we should look like and who we should be are influenced by the people around us and the images perpetuated by the media. That is a dangerous path because these images we emulate have more in common with fiction than fact.
What would you think of your body if you had no one else to compare it too? You were the only person on this Earth (terrifying haha). You wouldn’t know that the way you look may or may not be what society said was beautiful. You wouldn’t know that you might not be considered the average weight, height or skin color.
So then what would you do? You would have to decide for yourself what you thought of your body.
How differently do you think you would see it?
I have worked really hard to separate my body from my identity. I do not want to let the world define me by my weight, abs or hairstyle. I do not want to be defined by something so fickle and fleeting. If the world wants to know me, I want them to know my heart, to know my soul and then decide if they think I am a beautiful person or not.
If you are struggling with body image I have some practices for you to try and questions for you to ask yourself. Hopefully, you can slowly start to heal the relationship between your body and your mind.
- Body fat is just that…body fat. It is something you can gain and lose but it does not define you. The percentage has no weight on your worth. Try to separate yourself from it so that you can look at it less emotionally.
- There is no perfect body. Yes, media might tell you otherwise but that has changed so many times and obviously as we can see on social media it isn’t true. There are women of all shapes and sizes who have learned to love themselves because of who they are, NOT what they look like. And a lot of them have found fame in truly embracing their body no matter what the standards are. Embrace your body, own your uniqueness. You will attract more love and goodness into your life that way.
- Ask yourself WHY you think you need to look different? What are you trying to change for? Is it because you feel like everyone around you looks that way, or because you will be more loved that way? Putting our worth in how someone else defines beauty will always leave us feeling unsatisfied. Who said they got to make the rules? I don’t think anyone else should have a say about my body and what it looks like. I alone have that say.
- Try to reframe the narrative you have around your body. When negative thoughts come into your mind I challenge you to acknowledge them but see them as just a passing thought that you deny letting sink in. Just examine why you started thinking that and move on. Ask yourself is it even true? More likely than not it won’t be, so just let it go and do not dwell on it or beat yourself up for thinking it. Meditation has really helped me in this mindfulness practice.
- Create your own definition of beauty and OWN it! We are so drawn to people who are confident and comfortable in their own skin. They have decided to be their own definition of beauty instead of what society says and they are better for it. So why are we doing the opposite by trying to look like everyone else? Your courage and strength to love yourself in a world that makes it so easy to do the opposite will encourage the women around you to do the same because they will see something different about you.
Challenge the world. Challenge its idea of beauty. If we stop giving in to the idea that we should all look a certain way to be beautiful, act a certain way to be successful and become a certain way to be loved then maybe more of us would find all of those things.
So instead…what if we played by our own rules? Asked ourselves what we really wanted from our lives? What we really wanted our bodies to look like? NOT because someone else told us that was beautiful but because we decided for ourselves.
More than anything I want you to hear from someone today that you are beautiful. That you are worthy of being just who you are, as you are. The world needs more confident women, making their own rules and owning their own beauty. Instead of asking society what you should look like, decide for yourself. Be confident, be brave and be bold. Believe in a beauty that is more than skin deep and challenge what you see around you.
If you live in the Dallas area I am offering a Fall special to new clients in hopes of helping you have a confident, healthy and happy Fall! Visit www.thekalonlife.com/fitforfall to inquire! Sign-Up before Sept 15th and get a personalized meal plan and free yoga mat!
Have a beautiful day!