Hi guys! So I shared a little something that the Lord has been teaching me lately on IG stories yesterday, and decided to go into a little more depth for today’s blog post! (Along with sharing this adorable fall floral dress that I wore in Aspen a few weeks ago!)
What I’m sharing with y’all today is something that the Lord has been pressing on my heart for probably over a year now, and I’m still growing in everyday. I don’t know about you but I really struggle with saying no to things. Partially because I have FOMO and don’t want to miss out on something awesome, and partially because I think I have a fear of disappointing people (which goes hand in hand with my desire to please everyone).
I’ve struggled with saying no for most of my life, but it’s definitely escalated being in the industry of blogging / influencers. I am beyond thankful for this job and all of the amazing opportunities it’s provided for me. When the blog first really started growing I was blown away with opportunities to travel and go on these amazing trips for the blog. (I still am blown away, BTW!). But in the beginning i was just “YES YES YES WHERE DO I SIGN?!”. And after almost 2 years of saying yes to (nearly) every cool opportunity that came my way…the Lord has made it clear to me in so many ways that just because it’s a cool opportunity does not mean my answer needs to be ‘yes’.
For example…we just got back from our London and Barcelona trip last Thursday, and are currently in route to Dallas today. (So we had a week in between those two trips). I had an opportunity to go on a really fun influencer trip with girls I really like, but I would’ve had to squeeze it in between the Europe trip and going back to Dallas (followed by a Costa Rica trip after that!). My initial reaction in those situations is: check the calendar. if it’s empty, my answer is yes! But after praying through that decision, running it by Michael and Martha (so thankful for both of them!), I feel like the Lord really led me to turn down that opportunity. Something He’s been teaching me is “just because the calendar is empty, doesn’t mean you need to fill it.”
I read the book “the best yes” by lysa terkeurst a while back and it’s a concept I’m still trying to incorporate into my everyday life. Basically what this concept means is…just because you can say yes to something, doesn’t mean you should. Just because you’re able to say yes, doesn’t mean that that’s your “best yes”. In my example with the influencer trip above…I definitely could have said yes to that trip and I’m sure it would’ve been a blast. But for me, it wasn’t my best yes. My best yes was choosing to stay home, recover from jetlag, unpack my suitcase (for once), do laundry, get caught up on work, and ready for our Dallas trip. That was my best yes because it’s what was the most healthy (emotionally, spiritually, physically) for me at that time!
And when I talk about the art of saying no to things…I’m definitely not just referring to travel! Maybe you’re the person in your friend group who is ALWAYS asked for favors. Or maybe you’re someone who can never say no to a church event or an invitation to serve somewhere. All of those are really great things, but when you start saying yes solely out of fear or obligation, you know something’s out of whack. When you’re starting to feel burn out, exhausted, irritable, out of time, etc…maybe it’s time to ask yourself what you can start saying no to.
I am so thankful for all of the opportunities this blog has provided me with! And I will definitely continue to travel and say yes to awesome, on-brand collaborations. But the Lord is just really teaching me to pause, before every decision. As small as they may be. And ask myself “is this my best yes? or am i saying yes out of fear or obligation?”. It’s definitely not something I’ve mastered but something I’m learning and growing in every single day!
I feel like this past year, the Lord has had me on a journey of learning to find balance. A healthy work/life balance, balance in my health, balance in relationships, balance in my schedule. And I think a major step in achieving balance in life is learning when to say no. I know how hard it can be…but remember, when we feel led to say no to something…we’re actually saying yes to so much more. Yes to being more rested, yes to more time with husband or kids, yes to being the best you you can possibly be!
Thanks for reading y’all! I hope if any if you struggle with saying no like I do, that this post can encourage you in your journey to learn and grow in that area. Also, definitely check out the book I recommended – The Best Yes by Lysa Terkeurst. So good!